Pulse Survivors to Light Tree of Hope

Ilka Reyes recalls being at Pulse nightclub June 12 with several friends. At one point, she went to get some water.

"While I was standing in the bar, I heard a gunshot. I didn't know if it was the music or if it was really a gunshot," Reyes, 29, said.

Someone next to her told her to get to the floor, then she was pushed.

"While I was going down to the floor I saw my pinky," she said. "One of the bullets took it off my right hand."

As she lay on the floor, she heard people "screaming for help" and gunshots.

"People were telling me to act dead, so I was," by not moving and keeping her face down, she said.

Reyes didn't know how long she'd been down, but eventually, she saw a shadow next to her.

"It was him, and that's when he shot me in my back eight times," she said.

Reyes was one of the 102 people that Omar Mateen, 29, shot at the gay Orlando, Florida nightclub before he died in a shootout with police. Forty-nine of his victims died, while 53 survived.

Reyes will be at San Francisco City Hall Wednesday, December 7 to light the Rainbow World Fund's Tree of Hope. Mayra Alvear, whose daughter, Amanda Alvear, was killed at Pulse, will also take part in the tree lighting, along with her husband, Daniel Alvear and Pulse survivors Angel Torres and Angel Colon.

The tree, which this year is dedicated to the Pulse victims and survivors, features origami cranes with wishes on them. It has been a holiday fixture for more than a decade.

In a news release, Jeff Cotter, executive director of the San Francisco, LGBT-based Rainbow World Fund, which provides humanitarian assistance around the globe, said, "Every year special guests come to light the tree and celebrate the power of hope - how essential it is to our survival, our healing and humanity. RWF's philosophy is that we are one human family. Having Ilka and Amanda's parents here is a special honor - they are family, and their being here helps us all move forward in healing. It is my hope that our San Francisco community will really turn in a show of support and affection" for Reyes and the Alvears.

Reyes doesn't remember much about what happened immediately after she was shot, but she remembers hearing people's screams. She later learned that she was on the floor for three hours. As she was taken away in an ambulance, she said, "I started praying, saying, 'I'm not a bad person. If I've ever done anything wrong, I'm sorry.' ... I was feeling I was losing my breathing."

She woke up in the hospital. Four of the friends she'd gone to the club with, including two who were her best friends, died. She and four other friends lived.

Birthday

On December 12, Mayra Alvear, 56, plans to take a cake to Pulse to mark what would have been her daughter's 26th birthday.

Alvear, who lives in Tampa, Florida, said she's been to Pulse multiple times since the shooting.

"I feel a sense of peace when I go there, a sense of belonging in that place, when I'm there, and meeting everybody that goes there, because they want to memorialize them," Alvear said, crying as she spoke. "They don't want them to be forgotten. That's something I'm looking to keep going."

Alvear said that her daughter, who was straight, was at Pulse with several friends June 12. Amanda Alvear called her parents and left a message to say she planned to stay at a friends' house that night. Her mother didn't hear about what had happened until 7:30 the next morning.

"I had a feeling that something was going to happen to her," Mayra Alvear said. "I always prayed to God to protect her when she was going out of the house."

Despite her concerns, though, she "never expected" something like the shooting would happen.

According to news reports, Amanda Alvear, who'd been using Snapchat to capture what had been a fun night, continued recording as Mateen started shooting.

"She was amazing," Alvear said of her daughter. "She was such a good girl. She was a good daughter. She was an excellent friend. ... She loved the gay community so much. All her friends were gay."

Since her daughter was killed, Mayra Alvear has faced other challenges. Daniel Alvear has heart problems and has recently had three procedures done.

She's gotten to meet some of the other victims' families, and she said they've "become very close. ... We want to fight for the kids, for their legacy." Alvear's hoping to work with the other families to help tighten gun laws.

Reyes, who wasn't able to walk for about two months after she was shot, is doing physical therapy and said, "I'm doing much better."

"Never stop believing in God, because if it wouldn't be for him, I wouldn't be here," Reyes, who's bisexual and lives in Kissimmee, Florida, said.

She expressed gratitude for the outpouring of support since the shooting and said, "I'm just really thankful to have another opportunity to be alive."

Alvear said there's been an "overwhelming feeling of support and love, and people showing that they care, that they're going to keep fighting to help the community to change things. It's just amazing people still remember them," she said of her daughter and other victims. "As a mother, you don't want your kid's life to go in vain, so this is to me the most amazing thing someone can do for my daughter."

Memorial

Orlando Mayor Buddy Dyer announced in November that the South Florida city would purchase Pulse nightclub for $2.25 million and turn it into a memorial.

"I honestly don't know what to say about that," Reyes said of the plan. "... I don't know if I could go in. It's really hard to explain that."

She has been to the club since she was shot, though, and said, "It's a lot of emotions. ... You think, 'What should I have done?' but at the same time you don't really have any options to do much, because everything was so fast."

Alvear supports the memorial plan "100 percent," so that "everybody from everywhere around the world can come and show their love and their respect and their support."

"It was a safe haven," she said of the club. "It was a beautiful place. ... My daughter used to love going there."

Asked about whether she's had any contact with Mateen's family, Alvear said, "That is something that has come through my mind. I've been thinking about it. I'm still thinking of what would come out of that, and I don't know."

An official tree lighting ceremony and party will take place from 5:30 to 8 p.m. Wednesday. Special guests include San Francisco Mayor Ed Lee, the Consul General of Japan Jun Yamada, the Grammy Award-winning San Francisco Boys Chorus, and others. The tree, which is already up, will be on display until January 3. People can submit their wishes at http://www.worldtreeofhope.org