UK YouTube Star Opens Up About Gay Bareback Porn Past

British LGBT YouTuber Calum McSwiggan opened up this week about his gay porn past: Talking to BuzzFeed and the Daily Mail, McSwiggan explains what sparked him to star in x-rated videos, why he's embarrassed he performed bareback and why he's using his story as a cautionary tale to help LGBT youth.

The rumors about his gay porn past have been impacting his online carrier, BuzzFeed reports. McSwiggan, who focuses on LGBT issues and sexual health in his videos, opened up about his gay porn past, explaining he performed in a series of live webcam shows having unprotected sex with two other men when he was 19. The clips have been recorded and are online.

"I'd like to apologize for the fact that they're out there," the now 25-year-old YouTuber told BuzzFeed. "I want to be a positive role model for people so these images aren't what I want people to be seeing."

He adds: "I'm trying to put myself back in the driver's seat and own it and say, 'Yes there's things out there, but I'm going to give context to it, explain it, and defend myself.'"

McSwiggan said he started doing porn when he was 19 after he was fired from his job for being gay. He claims his coworkers were bullying him and he was let go after he complained about their anti-gay behavior.

"I remember looking around for other part-time work - working in factories and shops - but I was really scared about going back into something like that in case things [the bullying] repeated," he told the website."

He went on to say that two friends suggested "we try out webcam shows."

"They'd seen people making money off it and hoped I would do it with them as a threeway," he said.

"It felt quite exciting and glamorous at the time," he told the Daily Mail. "There are hundreds of people watching, saying nice things and you're getting money. But looking back there is nothing glamorous. I've watched the videos back and it is the opposite of glamorous."

He added to BuzzFeed that at first it "seemed like a really easy way to make money" but he "didn't think about the long-term consequences."

McSwiggan said before he returned to make more videos, he checked out the site on which they were posted. The fine print claimed the live performances could not be recorded or uploaded anywhere else.

"Obviously that was stupidity and naivety because people did record it and now it's everywhere," he told BuzzFeed.

"People started saying, 'Oh, I'll tip you �200 if you take your shirts off; I'll send you �150 if you take your jeans off.' So at first it was taking off clothes and then it was doing sexual acts and before we knew it, it was full sex," he continued.

After the success of his videos, which became the most-viewed on the site, McSwiggan says porn studies approached him and his scene partners to appear in films. All three men declined the offers, however.

"I was numb and oblivious to what I was doing," he told BuzzFeed. "I was just thinking about the money. I look back and see the videos now and I'm smiling and laughing but in my head I know that on the inside I wasn't enjoying myself. It was all for show."

Now, the YouTuber is using his story as a cautionary tale, telling BuzzFeed: "I want people to know the truth: Just because we're smiling doesn't mean that's what we were feeling."

He added he wants to stress his message to LGBT youth, adding, sex work is "so normalized within the gay community it makes it seem like, 'Oh yeah, I can just do this for a bit of money,' but there are so many consequences that go with it."

Later on in the BuzzFeed article, he said: "I want it to serve as a warning, because I know how enticing the porn industry can be and so often it preys on young, naive people."

"There are so many 18-year-olds in porn, and yes, you're legally able to consent at that age, but do you really have the right head on your shoulders to make that decision?" I certainly didn't."

Commenting on his porn past, McSwiggan told BuzzFeed: "It makes me feel gross. Violated. I've no control over it. I don't want people I know going on to the internet and seeing these videos of me, and I know making it public like this means a load of people are going to google it and find it."

Nevertheless, he is learning to accepting the existence of the x-rated clips and the fact he did not wear a condom.

"Although we were all tested before we did it and knew we were negative, when you watch the videos there's no context to that, it just looks like we're having unprotected sex, and that's not something I want to promote.

"I promote the opposite - it's something I say in my videos: 'Don't bareback, make sure you're using protection.' I don't want this to damage my reputation and all the things I've worked so hard to do," he said.

He also said he told his family about everything and that they've been "very supportive."

"They were disappointed I didn't go to them for money," the YouTuber told BuzzFeed. "I guess I was too proud." But their loving reaction provided the biggest relief for him. "My parents finding out was always the scariest thing for me. I didn't want them to be ashamed of me."

McSwiggna's YouTube channel has more than 40,000 subscribers and he has more than 27,200 followers on Twitter.

Watch McSwiggan open up about his x-rated past in his YouTube video, titled "I Did Gay Porn & I'm Sorry" below.