Offerings on Holiday Stages

One expression that has left the building: "Only [pick a number] shopping days left until Christmas." Every day is now a shopping day, 24/7 if you want to get cyber about it, and the countdown mentality no longer hovers like a holiday time-bomb. Thus there is more time for other Yuletide pleasures, like theatergoing, but take note: There are only 14 theatergoing days until Christmas. Here are some suggestions on how to choose among the gaily-wrapped stage offerings under our tree.

Golden Tradition

The Golden Girls ran for seven seasons. The Golden Girls: The Christmas Episodes is now in its eighth year of casting four local drag luminaries and letting them run riot in the title roles. At the Victoria Theatre through Dec. 21, this latest edition employs two fresh episodes in the continuing adventures of Dorothy (Heklina), Rose (Pollo del Mar), Blanche (Matthew Martin), and Sophia (Cookie Dough). Tickets at goldengirlssf.eventbrite.com.

Strangers in the Halls

Inspired by the TV series "Strangers with Candy," Bob McIntyre, Ralph Hoy, and Dani Spinks have built their own script around the character so memorably created by Amy Sedaris. "In Strangers with XXXmas Candy," McIntyre plays Jerri Blank, the self-described boozer, user, and loser who is back in school at age 46. As Jerri makes her way through the halls of Flat Point High, she stumbles toward the true meaning of Christmas. The Dreams on the Rocks production is running through Dec. 20 at the Exit Theatre. Tickets at theexit.org.

Come to Katya's Cabaret

Katya Smirnoff-Skyy returns to Feinstein's at the Nikko for a second serving of "Katya -- A Holiday Spectacular" on Dec. 20-21. The creation of J. Conrad Frank, Katya is an exiled Russian countess now working at Macy's perfume counter. Between occasional sips of vodka, she shares her memories and trills a mix of pop, opera, and holiday songs as the spirit of the season hazily engulfs her. Tickets at hotelnikkosf.com/feinsteins.

Take my Mother, Please

"Kung Pao Kosher Comedy" is back for its 22nd year, which is seven years older than its youngest performer. Simon Cadel, 14, is already a standup veteran with appearances at major comedy clubs. He shares the bill with two performers who can legally purchase the cocktails offered as part of the eat-Chinese-and-laugh alternative to Christmas. Headliners Jeremy Holz and Ophira Eisenberg are comedy veterans, both natives of Canada, with numerous club, movie, and TV credits. Producer Lisa Geduldig emcees the Dec. 24-26 shows, which include both dinner and cocktails-only performances at the New Asia Restaurant. Tickets at koshercomedy.com.

Forking it Over

The much-touted renaissance of the Mid-Market area takes another step with the opening of PianoFight's new home where Original Joe's once was a Tenderloin institution. The venue now includes two black-box performance spaces in addition to a bar and restaurant. The debut theatrical attraction is Daniel Heath's "A Merry FORKING! Christmas," running Dec. 18-Jan. 2, a scripted play that lets audiences vote at crucial plot forks to determine the outcome for a pot-dealing mall Santa, his cookie-stand accomplice, a wobbly security guard, a bored mortician, and a jilted bride-to-be. Tickets at pianofight.com.

Don't Forget Your Mittens

Those who like a circus to be up-close and personal should take note of "Mittens & Mistletoe: A Winter Circus Cabaret" that is back for its fifth year. A troupe of veteran Bay Area circus artists is featured in the show directed by clown duo Coventry and Kaluza for Sweet Can Productions. Performances are Dec. 19-28 at Dance Mission Theatre. Tickets at brownpapertickets.com.

Marsh Madness

On both sides of the bay, the Marsh has offerings for your holiday consideration. At its Mission location, Brian Copeland is performing "The Jewelry Box: A Genuine Christmas Story" through Dec. 27. This prequel to Copeland's popular solo show "Not a Genuine Black Man" recalls his 6-year-old self as he hit the Oakland streets to earn money to buy his mother a Christmas present. In Berkeley, Unique Derique is offering his blend of physical comedy, skits, and Hambone body percussion in Fool La La, running Dec. 20-Jan. 4. Tickets at themarsh.org.

Gift-Wrapped Insults

Its lengthy title gives you some idea of what to expect: "An Evening with Bianca del Rio: Rolodex of Hate" (Christmas Edition). The winner of this year's "RuPaul's Drag Race" will offer a full set of generally insulting comedy at two shows on Dec. 19 at the Castro Theatre. Peaches Christ will emcee the event being presented by Sasha Soprano and Marc Huestis. As Roy Haylock, Bianca started out as a teenage costume designer in New Orleans before becoming a self-proclaimed "clown in a dress" who gets laughs by basically tearing the audience to shreds. Tickets at comedyinthecastro.eventbrite.com.

Here Comes NYE

There are theatrical, comedic, and cabaret options for bidding farewell to 2014. At Feinstein's on Dec. 31, John Lloyd Young, who won a Tony Award as Frankie Valli in "Jersey Boys," transitions his high tenor from the Four Seasons catalog to R&B standards heard on his new album "My Turn." Theatre Rhino ends the year with a single performance of Morris Bobrow's "Shopping: The Musical" at the Eureka Theatre. (Tickets at therhino.org.) And Brava Theatre Center is presenting a "New Year's Eve Comedy Fiesta" starring popular standup comics Marga Gomez, Diane Amos and Betsy Salkind. (Tickets at brava.org).