Remembering Elaine Stritch

The statute of limitations has passed. The self-incriminating circumstances of a telephone interview with Elaine Stritch in 2003 did not make it into the story that ran in the B.A.R. With her recent passing I was reminded - like a kick in the butt - of how not to do an interview.

I followed the publicist's instructions to call her at Noon, and she asked me to call back that evening, that she was by the hotel pool, and that it wasn't a good time to talk. When it came time to call her, it was late into what used to be my cocktail hour. Frankly, I was a little bit drunk and a little bit stoned. Somehow this seemed appropriate for an interview with Stritch, and I was curious if my conversationally based interview skills would be enhanced. Short answer: No.

When I called her at the appointed evening hour, I reminded her who I was, and that she had been at the pool earlier. "You don't think I remember? You think I'm senile?" she barked. "And I wasn't at the pool. Let's leave it at that."

Foot continued to go into mouth as my stream-of-consciousness questions and remarks always seemed off-base, my sense of humor not sparking reciprocation, and I knew I had dug myself into a deep hole. It was time for a hail-Mary conclusion to our talk.

What I said, and my face is turning red as I write this, was, "I think you should look in the mirror every day and say, 'I'm fucking incredible.' " And then everything changed. "You really hit the nail on the head," she said, though she claimed she would use another adjective for the mirror talk. "You're talking about self-esteem, and you got below the surface into the real stuff, and nobody goes there when they talk to me. That's something real, and I want to thank you."

But I had nowhere to go after that, and it was time for foot-in-the-mouth goodbyes. "Well, I guess you better let me go," I said while meaning the opposite. "Let you go?" she exclaimed. "I'm the one is supposed to let you go." And at that point she did.

I was able to put together a reasonable story, but certainly left out the enveloping circumstances, as well as the "fucking incredible" interlude. From Company to her one-woman show "At Liberty," I had loved Elaine Stritch, and I basically messed up my one and only chance for a reasonable conversation with this iconic personality. With hand over heart -- let me stop typing while I actually do that -- I have never been crocked doing an interview again (and "cocktail hour" has devolved significantly in the past decade). It might have worked with some other celebrities, but it was a lesson that needed to be learned, and Elaine Stritch was the one to teach it.

Burqas to Bikinis

Nadia Parvez Manzoor explores the clash of Western and Muslim philosophies in her autobiographical solo show "Burq Off!" at Exit Theatre.

As long as there are cultures that intersect, there will be clashes. And there is no more fraught a culture clash these days than between Western and Islamic philosophies. Nadia Parvez Manzoor is a one-woman embodiment of this clash, which she portrays as both herself and 20 other characters in "Burq Off!," with performances July 24-26 at Exit Theatre.

Now based in Brooklyn, Manzoor grew up in a Pakistani Muslim home in North London, where she was torn by the pleasures of modern London and the somber life her parents maintained at home. Among the dichotomies she faced were a twin brother moving toward fundamentalist ideologies, a love affair with an Irish bartender, and the conflicting psychological affects of wearing a burqa in Mecca and a bikini in Majorca. "It's much easier to stay silent when you question the ideas that you were raised with, and it can be very scary," says Manzoor. "Yet silence, not expressing your beliefs, also comes at a price."

Manzoor has performed "Burq Off!" in numerous cities, though the Exit performances are part of a West Coast debut along with a Los Angeles run. The show even comes with a plug from Deepak Chopra: "Gutsy, hilarious, and must-see." Go to theexit.org for more information.

Sex and the Victoria

After a run of nearly a year of once-a-week performances at Rebel Bar, the be-dragged variation on "Sex and the City" is moving to bigger digs with spruced-up production values. Two episodes from the HBO series, different from the ones previously staged, will run July 24-Aug. 10 at the Victoria Theatre under the aegis of Velvet Rage Productions.

D'Arcy Drollinger is back both as director and as Samantha Jones, the sexually adventurous publicist played on TV by Kim Cattrall. Heklina again has the central role of Carrie Bradshaw, the newspaper columnist with a shoe fetish and created on screen by Sarah Jessica Parker, and Lady Bear returns in the Cynthia Nixon role of the sexually cynical Miranda Hobbes. Leigh Crow is another returnee as Mr. Big (the Chris Noth role), who is Carrie's on-and-off lover.

The one new cast member, receiving "special guest" billing, is Alaska Thunderfuck 5000, who was more discreetly billed as simply Alaska during the fifth season of "RuPaul's Drag Race," and is again so mononymously billed in "Sex and the City." The drag performer and recording artist will play the prim Charlotte York (Kristin Davis on TV) at the Victoria. Tickets are available at sexandthecitylive.eventbrite.com.