Girlsroom :: Lincoln’s Drinking Chronicles # 7

by Lincoln Chinnery

EDGE Media Network Contributor

Thursday October 5, 2006

After having so much fun at the CubbyHole I decided to get my 'Les' on and go to another lesbian bar. Plus, I wanted to get the stink of the Black Door off of me. This time my destination was The Girlsroom located in the Lower East Village. I had heard rumors of 'Women Only Dancing,' a Friday night drink special that would make Dean Martin proud, and a stripper pole on the bar. For a straight male like myself, it seemed like Heaven. Scratch that: Better than Heaven, it's the exclusive, underground VIP room at Scores. I checked my usual sources for directions ( and headed out to have a great time surrounded by women (who had no interest in me) and cheap booze.

When I arrived at 210 Rivington Street (between Pitt and Ridge Streets) I found myself in a neighborhood that was less than desirable. In fact, it reminded me of my old neighborhood, Edenwald Projects in the Bronx. Loud youths hung out on the corner, police sirens howled in the background, and the bodegas vended 40's of what St. Ives calls "Malt Liquor." The familiar sights and sounds brought a quiet smile to my face. That happy, yet brief, reflection into my days as a chubby kid running through the PJ's playing Freeze Tag was shattered when I noticed there was no line for the bar, no dance music playing and no lesbians to be found anywhere. The Girlsroom was closed. It's been replaced by a bar called Guero' (It's Spanish slang for 'White boy'). My disappointment was beyond measure, plus I was angry. I was angry with myself for letting my Southern Compass lead me to a bar and pissed because I didn't know the place was closed.

You may not know this but I am a fan of research. It is a necessary skill that every blogger, writer, or journalist should have. I was taught to double check my facts and review my directions before I step out the door. When I found out the place was closed I went over my notes and the sites I had referred to. None of what I had said the place was closed, in fact the back up directions I had was from a bar book dated 2006. Not to be discouraged I sallied forth and walked into Guero' to get the scoop on why the Girlsroom was closed, and to take advantage of the 2 for 1 happy hour.

According to the bartender (let's call her G) the Girlsroom has been closed for about a year along with its sister bar The Boysroom with no plans to reopen either anytime soon. G also told me that Meow Mix was closed but the owners opened up a new bar called The Caddyshack in Brooklyn.

Usually, I would spend the rest of my review going over the details of this bar and giving you all the hidden features so you can a great time when you get there. But I can't because by the time you read this review Guero' will be gone and replaced with a Rock n' Roll bar (Think Ugly Coyote meets Hogs and Heifers.) G told me that Guero' will be moving to Avenue A (that's in Alphabet City for those that don't live in NYC) in late October.

Now I've struck out twice. Not only did I not have a bar to review but also the bar I was in was about to be closed. So I've got a glowing review about a bar that doesn't exist. I want to tell everyone about the great time I had there but what's the point. I want to tell you that G is one of the best bartenders I've met but unless you're willing to wait until late October you'll never get to try her Fink Lemonade drink or the drink she and I made:

The Fiona Apple:

One shot of sour apple rum

One shot of vodka

Some seltzer or hard cider

Another fun factor about Guero' was the DJ's, two kids in there 20's who knew more about 80's music than I did. These guys took my request and actually played what I wanted to hear. Can you say MADONNA? Hey! I grew up in the 80's and I love her stuff. They even let me share my newfound love of mash-ups. They gave me some recommendations and I sent them a copy of what I had on my MP3 player.

Granted, I had a great time at Guero' but to go on about that night is to write a book report about a novel that's never been written. I really want to give praise to this bar with the hopes that when it reopens in October it will still have the same cool vibe and kick ass staff but we'll have to wait and see.

Since I don't have a bar to review I can give you some random items about bars and drinking:

- When did Pasbt Blue Ribbon become so fricken popular? I've seen it high as 6 bucks a can. I remember when it was a buck a can and wasn't allowed above the Mason-Dixon Line. What happened? Did the South rise again and no one bothered to inform me?

- I've noticed that kids today don't know how treat the bartender. Ask them who the DJ is and they will tell you the guy's SAT scores but ask what the bartender looks like and it's like asking George W. to point out Darfur on a map.

- Never drink on an empty stomach.

- Never drink angry. Angry and drunk is no way to go through the night. Chose one or the other.

- Tip the bartender. I've watched people order several rounds of drinks and not leave the bartender a dime...Come on people! They are trying to make a living in the same city as you. We all know how expensive Manhattan is.

- When it comes to Mezcal don't swallow the scorpion whole. Chew it first then swallow.

- When it comes to Lichido ...just say NO! The stuff stinks like a rotten onion and sour guava hybrid.

That's all for now. I've been watching Katherine Couric (if you're a true fan you know that's the name she started out with) and her quest for a closing line. I don't know about her but I know what mine will be from now on.

Till next time-

Good night and good drinking!

Postscript: I went by Guero on 9-15-06 and it was closed. Also, I went to my source and found out that they STILL list The Girlsroom and Meow Mix as open for business. I've dropped that website and posted an updated on their site.

Lincoln C. Chinnery III is a freelance writer whose main areas of interest include dining, movies and nightlife. Lincoln welcomes questions and comments via email at [email protected]