Get 'Wet' on July 31 for National Orgasm Day

by Winnie McCroy

EDGE Editor

Friday July 31, 2015

Today is National Orgasm Day, and the folks at Wet are happy to share their tips for celebrating the big "O." Mary Jo Rapini, a licensed psychotherapist specializing in intimacy and relationships, shares her ideas on how to make your love life and orgasms better.

"What's most important with most couples is intimacy; that's the foundation of everything," said Rapini in a recent interview with EDGE. "You build intimacy by building that connection, through communicating and being transparent."

Rapini said that in today's social media world, everyone is trying to be someone they're not. This is a recurring theme in her therapy sessions. But she says that the most attractive you will ever be is when you're being vulnerable in your real self. You're strongest when you can share those things.

"Things like hugging, like taking the opportunity to touch so the other person knows you're listening, and putting down your phones and electronic devices," said Rapini. "A lot of times you take this for granted because when you are gay, your partner already has a much deeper understanding of you. You have taken away the element of how the 'other gender' is going to think about something, because you don't know the other genders' mind. But same-gender relationships automatically get rid of that boundary, and you are forced to be more intimate."

This can be wonderful, but it can also cause problems when partners manipulate that connection. Same-sex couples can become more stressed when you lose that boundary of saying, "Listen, this is just how guys are," or "You just don't understand women."

It's very important, said Rapini, to get time away from your partner, so that you can reconnect and build intimacy. "Go away, so I can reconfirm who I am, what my own attitudes and principles are," is a rallying cry Rapini hears. She notes that, "Couples get boring when they get too much alike; they have to have their own invested interest."

A Boost of Stronvivo

For couples whose sex life could use a medically-aided boost, Rapini recommended the all-in-one capsule Stronvivo. For both men and women, this new vitamin regimen Stronvivo is taken daily as an all-natural, Informed-Choice Certi?ed nutritional supplement, comprised of USP-veri?ed, pharmaceutical-grade ingredients including†L-Arginine. It is designed to boost†nitric oxide†production in the body's endothelium, potentially improving blood circulation. Other ingredients include†L≠?Citrulline,†L Carnitine†Tartrate,Magnesium†and†Zinc, which have been shown to potentially improve erectile function.

"Stronvivo is made with natural ingredients, improves endofolium tissues which strengthens the lining of everything, which is important for sexuality. It can enhance libido in women, and improve erectile function in men," said Rapini.

This could prove helpful with "lesbian bed death," the boredom in the bedroom that Rapini said happens in both same-sex and heterosexual relationships.

"I think women are much more emotional, and women also get bored more quickly," she said. "Guys are visual, but women have to rely on thinking and interests. If a partner gets stale or clingy or codependent, that will kill relationships quicker because women thrive on constant interest. We are into each others minds, into love and committedness and security, but we need the thrill, too, the interest of the other person."

Rapini said that to keep things interesting, you have to keep expanding your network, not narrowing it. This doesn't have to mean inviting another person into your bed, it can just mean networking with other interesting women rather than hibernating in your apartment with your partner.

Expanding your networks can cause women to become inspired and more creative. It can also help defeat post-sex depression.

"Basically when you have a same-sex couple, women are much more exclusive with love and commitments, so it balances that in your relationship," said Rapini. But I think it's harder for same-sex couples, especially lesbians, because when you have a husband it's easier to compartmentalize: he gets all of this, the flirting, the sex, etc. When a women is your significant other, it becomes harder to compartmentalize."

For the fellas, the folks at Wet also recommend that you make sure to keep things safe and fun by creating a more personalized experience by creating a fun graphic or design with Graphic Armor's patented custom printed condoms meet the requirements for safety and testing by countries around the world. The non-toxic printing is cured into the latex and will not rub off with normal use.†

And for the women, keep things silky smooth. Vaginal dryness can be a problem for many women at any age and can leave you screaming in pain instead of ecstasy! Reach for Replens Silky Smooth personal lubricant, a long lasting lubricant that won't get sticky.

Creating a Better Connection

The best way to enjoy amazing orgasms with your partner is to create a stronger connection. As many as 80 percent of couples who suffer from a sexual problem, be it lack of desire, erectile dysfunction, vaginal dryness or an inability to orgasm, just learn to live with it. They don't seek help, nor do they know help is available.

When Rapini counsels couples, she is very much into celebrating who they are, their independence and what that means to them. This is the key to keeping relationships strong. You may have to work harder when you and your partner are the same sex, because women join other women, and that partner could cross boundaries. There's no separateness; that's major complaint she hears again and again. When two partners are totally enmeshed into one, the relationship can lose its vibrancy, lose those great orgasms. National Orgasm Day should be all about preserving that vibrancy.

Pick up a copy of the newly published,†"Re-Coupling: A Couple's 4-step Guide to Greater Intimacy and Better Sex," co-authored by†Mohit Khera, M.D., M.B.A., M.P.H., Associate Professor, Director of the Laboratory for Andrology Research at McNair Medical Institute, Baylor College of Medicine and Medical Director of the Executive Health Program at Baylor and†Mary Jo Rapini.

"Celebrate the person that helps you orgasm, and celebrate yourself as a woman and what that means to you," said Rapini. "In the bedroom, remember lube, use that to make sex pleasurable. Take time to take hot baths together, remember things like if you want better organization there's medication, or hand held devices like Apex to strengthen pelvic floor muscles. Stay committed to your sexual health, whether you're married or not. An orgasm is a very individual experience. You can share a lot of things, but you should own and enjoy that pleasure individually, as well as with your partner."

Winnie McCroy is the Women on the EDGE Editor, HIV/Health Editor, and Assistant Entertainment Editor for EDGE Media Network, handling all women's news, HIV health stories and theater reviews throughout the U.S. She has contributed to other publications, including The Village Voice, Gay City News, Chelsea Now and The Advocate, and lives in Brooklyn, New York.